"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to BLOOM…This is the Element of Freedom"

-Alicia Keys

04 November 2010

A little inspiration


I have quite a few blogs that I follow that I have found via other blogs that I follow and one of them is fabulous k.  She is a graphic designer and I love her style.  I read an interview with her on another blog (although it escapes me at the moment) a few months ago and I started reading her blog.  She had this on her blog recently and I couldn't help but to put it on mine, too.  It was just the right thing to start this post...

I wrote this post, {Waking Up and Being Grateful} back in March.  I think that I had reached a point where my life was literally telling me in so many different ways that I needed to make some changes.  I was miserable at my job, but I loved the people that I worked with which made it hard to leave.  The entire process of looking for a new job was so daunting and overwhelming that I continued to plug away at a job that made me sad.  I have to say that my job, the place that I worked and the people that I worked with did not make me sad (for the most part), it was the fact that I wasn't doing anything that gave me any joy at all.  I was on the computer all day, (which is how I found blogs in the first place) and that was what made me first realize that there was a place for me and somewhere & someday, there would be a job for me, too.

About a month after I wrote that post, I went to visit my sister, Stephanie, who was graduating from the University of Michigan.  She was receiving her PhD & the commencement speaker was President Obama...you know I couldn't miss that!  My flight was that night and the day that I left was one of the worst days I have ever had at work.  So bad that I called my husband, sobbing and slobbering and asked him if he would be mad if I just left and never came back.  Basically, it was 3 1/2 years of trying to be good at something that was not me and I just couldn't take it anymore.  I didn't end up walking out.  I went back to my office, took my lunch break and bought a new sweater from Urban Outfitters for my trip...Sometimes retail therapy really does help.  Spending the next few days in a different place, spending time with my sister and having a little time away really cleared my head and my heart.  It was the first time that I had traveled without my daughter or husband...it was weird, but good.  The night flight sans interruptions and a new copy of Vanity Fair helped :)

I re-read Waking Up and Being Grateful last night and I think now that it was a sign of what was to come...after I returned from that trip, I started to change my focus.  I took it off of my job and started to focus on the people and the things that brought me joy.  It wasn't that I didn't care anymore, but it was that I didn't care anymore, you know?

I will continue this one tomorrow, Lovelies...I am off to bed.....

2 comments:

  1. That's a beautiful image.

    I am looking for my own piece of peace with employment, too! I believe it's out there, and it will come to me, or I to it. Just gotta keep my mind open!

    ReplyDelete

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