"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to BLOOM…This is the Element of Freedom"

-Alicia Keys

22 November 2010

Light as a Feather and as Free as a Bird....

{image from here}

I have been wanting to wrap up this post for a while now...in fact, I have been wanting to write this post for a very, very long time.  You see, I had a major life change back on July 15th.  I was released from my job of 3 1/2 years (I will be leaving out the details-out of respect and let's face it, this is the Internet, you never know who reads what!)  As I mentioned (many, many) times before, I was not happy at my job, it was the classic Round Peg, Square Hole phenomenon... but I liked the people that I worked with, making it difficult to leave.  Looking back at it now, I realize that what made it difficult to leave was that I was burned out, unsure what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go...I was tired of getting up, getting everyone off to work or school, rushing to work, struggling all day at a job that I pretty much sucked at, rushing to daycare, picking up my child, going home, making dinner, then to bath time, book and bedtime for Reese, a few hours of time with my husband or by myself, then to going to bed, only to start the whole process all over again the next day.  Sound familiar to anyone out there?  Most of you know what I am talking about, I am not trying to sound like I was the only one that felt this way because I know that I am not alone here.  I think what I needed was chance to catch my breath and that is what I got on the beautiful afternoon of July 15th.   As I walked through the lobby for the last time with my box of belongings, smiling the biggest smile ever, I felt  Light as a Feather and as Free as a Bird.... I don't think I will ever forget the feeling that I had that day...it is forever seared in my memory as a moment in which my life changed instantly and for the better...I could feel the adventure that was starting in my life as I walked out of the office building where I had spent approximately 6,000 hours of my life.  I got in my car and drove away, never feeling a moment of sadness or regret, only being aware of my new freedom.  The only way that I can begin to describe how I felt is this...

Take it away, Tom...

{Tom Cruise as Jerry McGuire via YouTube.com}

Tom Petty probably knew that he had written a good song with Free Fallin' but I wonder if he ever knew what a fucking great song it really is...

Anyway, I went out for wine with a friend that night and we toasted to a new beginning...there really is nothing like a good girl friend, good wine and good conversation. I left Kate's Wine Bar that night feeling more hope and excitement about the future than I had in a long time.

I woke up the next morning and realized that I was going to be able to spend the entire day with my daughter during her summer vacation...just the day before, I had dropped her off with my friend and her 5 year old daughter to go on an adventure to the zoo together.  I had felt sad that I wasn't able to go with them that day.  We ate breakfast and made plans for the day.  Reese really wanted to go to the pool up the street that has a huge water slide. So, we packed a lunch and walked to the pool.  I am not a huge fan of the swimsuit, especially after sitting on my ass at a desk for 3.5 years, but that day there was nothing that was going to hold me back.  We slathered on the sunscreen, ate our little lunch and got in the pool.  Reese was hesitant about going down the slide- at first.  Once we started climbing up the stairs to get to the top, she started to get excited.  While we waited at the top for the other people to go, I realized that I could see for miles around being up on top of the slide...in fact, I could even see my old office building, way out in the distance.  It was at that exact moment that I realized that I never had to go back there ever (ever) again...

Reese and I went down that slide at least 30 times. I loved every.single.minute of it!


  1. This is a great post. I am so glad you got the freedom you needed. You have so many talents and I know you will find your path in life and it WILL be something you enjoy and are passionate about. Love ya girl!

  2. I agree, great post...although I miss my partner in crime...everyday!!!

  3. Nicole, I miss you too, EVERYDAY!!!!


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