Wistful.....

Tonight I read through my reading list on blogger.  Most of the blogs are ones that I used to read on a daily basis, and all of them are ones that I haven't read in a while (with the exception being the blogs of a few close friends).  As I read through one blog in particular, I started to feel a little like, um, deflated?  I am not sure if that is the word I am looking for, but that is sort of how I felt.  This blog is now a very well-known blog and is full of beautiful pictures of this woman (who is pretty amazing) and her kids and stuff that she does.  She is a great writer and makes me laugh every time.  I looked at her pictures and started to feel a little wistful.


wist·ful/ˈwistfəl/:

Adjective: Having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing.

Maybe that is the word I was looking for.

I wasn't looking at her life, thinking "I wish that is how my life is, etc."

Because I am happy with my life. Sometimes I wish I was a little better at organizing paper, keeping a tidy house and having a green thumb, but when it comes down to it, I love my little life with my sweet little family.

I think I was feeling a little wistful because I haven't documented my little life with my sweet little family on this blog.  I have been afraid to put myself out there like that.  I take a ton of pictures and I am a good photographer (if I do say so myself). There are so many things that I would like to share. It is mostly centered around my kids. It makes me nervous to have pictures of them where anyone can see them, save them on their computer, etc.  It sort of scares the shit out of me.  Is there a way to protect your photos from being downloaded?  I don't really know.  

Maybe I need to just get over it and just do it. Or figure out a way to make it work for me.

On an unrelated note:  I think what I really need to do is just go to bed.  My nightowl tendencies are catching up with me big time.

Good night!